leglet

Two posts in a day. Sometimes I think I spoil you guys.

I am in a significantly less pleasant mood than I was three hours ago. Apparently, despite never missing a single class all year, I am not entitled to my no sick days bonus. Whyever not? Because they forgot to write it into my contract, that's why. Now, generally I know diddly squat about contract law, but I had been led to believe I was entitled to the bonus, and everyone else is (hence dragging my sorry ass into work even in the throes of the Shanghai flu a couple of times), so I think that constitutes either a) a verbal contract, or b) custom and practice. Whatever, I'm not really in a position to do anything, but I talked to my boss and she is currently pleading my case to the Director. I'm not too hopeful though.

This lengthy debacle was followed by a reminder of one of the reasons I am looking forward to leaving Korea. On the way home I popped into the bank to transfer all my money to my British account and then close my account. A five minute operation, surely. After falling victim to yet another queue-jumping Korean woman, the conversation went something like this:

Me: "Hi. I need to do two things: I want to transfer all of my money to an account in England, and then I would like you to close my KB Star account, please."

Bank Clerk: "OK... transfer?"

Me: "Yes, please. Then close the account."

BC: "OK. Passport?"
Me: "I don't have it, but here is my ID card."

BC: "Passport?"

Me: "I'm sorry, I don't have it. Passaporta opso-yo. Here is my ID card."

BC: "No passport."

Me: "That's right, no passport. But I am sure you can use my ID card. It is a government-issued document of identification, after all."

BC: "Hmmm..."

Me: "Listen. Would you ask a Korean customer for a passport?"

BC: "No."

Me: "Alright then. In that case, I insist that you accept my ID card."

BC: "... OK. How much you want transfer?"

Me: "All of it. Everything."

BC: "Evelything? How much?"

Me: "I don't know. You tell me. How much is in my account?"

[He tells me my balance, and hands me a large form. I complete the form.]

BC: "How much you want transfer?"

Me: "All of it! Everything!"

BC: "All? You sure?"

Me: "Yes! I am leaving the country tomorrow. I go England tomorrow. Bye-bye."

BC: "OK."

[More forms.]

BC: "You mallied?" [A standard Korean conversation opener.]

Me: "What? No, I'm not married."

BC: "You sure?"

Me: "Yes, quite sure thank you. As far as I know, anyway."

[BC looks at the computer in puzzlement.]

Me: "Does the computer say I am married or something?"

BC: "Yes."

Me: "Well, I'm not married."

BC: "No wife? You sure?"

Me: "Yes!"

BC: "OK..."

[Hands me back my cards and passbook.]

Me: "Er, did you close the account?"

BC: "Crose account?"

Me: "Yes."

BC: "Entirely crose account?"

Me: "Yes. Entirely."

BC: "Entirely?"

Me: "Entirely."

BC: "Why?"

Me: "I'm going to England tomorrow. Going home."

BC: "Oh my god! Entirely reaving?"

Me: "Yes."

BC: "Why?"

Me: "That's not important."

[More forms.]

BC: "I am vely leglet to you are reave Kolea! Goodbye! Goodbye!"

[He shakes my hand vigorously for about ten seconds, then calls over to the other staff in the bank. They all wave and shout goodbye. By this time, the bank is closed, the shutters are down, and I am led outside via a side exit and a pet food store by a security guard.]

Honestly, you can't make this stuff up.